Loved That Guy

Published October 8, 2012 by Laitie

Thump-thump
thump-thump
Right here
Feel it
Thump-thump
thump-thump
Feel it?
That’s her heartbeat
Thump-thump
thump-thump
He looks away
Stands up
Thump-thump
thump-thump
I don’t feel
Anything
Thump-thump
thump-thump
Don’t worry, baby girl
He will
Thump-thump
thump-thump

~oOoOoOo~

My guy
He loves me
I know he does
He may look away
from me
He may struggle
to show his love.
But he loves me

He’ll love the baby
I know he will
He just
needs to see her.
He’ll love her
And we’ll be

The perfect family

~oOoOoOo~

Last night
I heard a noise
in the living room
Last night
I stood up
and went in there
Last night
I saw him
on the couch

Last night
He was there
with another woman
Last night
I screamed
I yelled
Last night
I threw her out
Locked the door

He said nothing
I said nothing

We went to bed
breathing in the silence

Last night

He said nothing

I said nothing

~oOoOoOo~

Just left a note
to say

I love you

So much

~oOoOoOo~

My little girl
Is not my little girl

No, my little girl

Is my little guy.

My son is beautiful
My son is wonderful.

I love the way
he giggles
when I tickle his feet.
I love sound
of his breathing
when he sleeps.
I love how he
sighs
when the sun touches his skin.

My guy
loves our little guy.
He just
struggles to show it.
He loves him.

I  know he does.

~oOoOoOo~

Today
was wonderful

Today
was amazing

Today,
my guy
was so happy

Today,
he took me and our little guy
in his arms.
He hugged us close,
took us outside.

We danced
in the sun.
We danced,
until the rain chased us inside.

He played with our son
as I made lunch.

We had a picnic in the living room,
and laid down together.
We whispered promises to each other.

And after dinner,
he sent his friends away.
Said he needed to spend time
with his family.

Today was wonderful.

~oOoOoOo~

I miss him
when he goes away.

My little guy
misses him
when he goes away.

He goes for days.
Sometimes weeks.
And we sit and wait.
When he goes away.

~oOoOoOo~

I needed to get out.
I needed some air.
I left my mother
with the baby.

I was at the store
when I felt it.
When I knew.

I ran out of the store.
Ran down the block.
I saw my guy
In the middle of a crowd.

There was blood spilling out of his mouth
A gun in his hand.
I screamed.
I ran for home.

I burst through the door.
Ran past my mother
asleep on the floor.

I threw open the door,
saw my little guy.
There, in his crib.
Blood coming from his mouth.

~oOoOoOo~

Never again
will my little guy giggle
when I tickle his feet

Never again
will his breaths soothe my ears
when he sleeps.

Never again
will he sigh
when the sun touches his skin.

Never again
will my guy love me.

Never again
will my guy dance with me.

Never again
will we whisper promises to each other.

My guy.
My little guy.

I loved that guy.

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